A Kiss from Rose | You Have to Teach People How to Treat You

alstonshropshire3
1 hour ago
3 min read

Sometimes people don’t treat you poorly because they don’t know better. Sometimes the behavior continues because nothing has required them to do differently.

You have to teach people how to treat you—not by controlling them, arguing with them, threatening them, or constantly explaining yourself, but by communicating what is hurting the relationship and allowing their response to show you what happens next.

If something hurts you, say it.

If something feels disrespectful, address it.

If a boundary has been crossed, communicate it.

And if the behavior continues, pay attention.

Because here’s where you learn a lot about people:

Watch what they do after you’ve told them how something affects you.

Someone who genuinely respects you may not get it right every single time, but there should be an effort to get it right. They become more mindful. They consider what you’ve said. They make reasonable adjustments because maintaining a healthy relationship with you matters to them.

Someone who values you doesn’t hear, “This hurts me,” and immediately start searching for reasons why you shouldn’t feel hurt.

They listen.

They consider.

They communicate.

They adjust where appropriate.

That’s not control.

That’s consideration.

And there is a difference.

“Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” — Philippians 2:4 (KJV)

Healthy relationships require consideration in both directions. You cannot demand that everyone adjust to you while refusing to examine yourself. If someone you love tells you that something you’re doing is hurting them, you should be willing to listen too.

Sometimes you’re teaching.

Sometimes you’re being taught.

And Jesus gave us a biblical model for addressing wrong within relationships.

In Matthew 18:15–17, Jesus teaches that when a brother sins against you, the first response should be to go directly to that person and address the matter privately.

“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone…” — Matthew 18:15 (KJV)

Notice what Jesus did not say.

He didn’t say embarrass them publicly.

He didn’t say gather everybody else and discuss it first.

He didn’t say retaliate.

He said:

Go to them.

Address it.

Give them an opportunity to hear you.

Give the relationship an opportunity for correction and reconciliation.

And Jesus says that if the person hears you, “thou hast gained thy brother.”

That’s important because biblical correction isn’t supposed to begin with punishment.

The goal is restoration.

But Matthew 18 doesn’t end there. Jesus provides additional steps when someone refuses to listen, showing us that persistent refusal to address wrongdoing can eventually change how the relationship functions.

That’s the part we sometimes miss.

Grace gives people an opportunity to get it right.

Wisdom pays attention to what they do with that opportunity.

And Scripture also says:

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” — Proverbs 27:6 (KJV)

A healthy relationship isn’t one where nobody ever gets anything wrong.

It’s one where truth can be spoken, truth can be received, apologies can be made, forgiveness can be extended, and behavior can improve.

💌 Grandma’s Corner

You shouldn’t have to explain the same hurt indefinitely.

Communicate clearly.

Give grace where grace is appropriate.

Allow room for human mistakes.