A Kiss from Rose | Been Official… or Just Beneficial?

Everybody wants to say they’ve “been official.”

“I’m loyal.”

“I’m real.”

“I’ve always been there.”

“I’ve held you down.”

But let me ask you a question…

How have you “been official”… when you’ve only ever been consumed with what’s beneficial to you?

Being official isn’t measured by what you’ve received.

It’s measured by what you’ve consistently given.

Because when you’ve truly been official, you understand that relationships were never designed to be one-sided.

You understand give and take.

You understand two-way streets.

You understand grace and compassion.

You understand paying it forward.

You understand giving back.

You understand venting… and listening.

You understand praying… and fasting.

You understand trials… and favor.

You understand giving… and receiving.

You understand gain… and loss.

You understand that sometimes you’ll carry someone…

And other times they’ll carry you.

That’s what being official looks like.

But if you’re only around people because they benefit your life…

Your image…

Your finances…

Your popularity…

Your influence…

Your convenience…

Your emotions…

Your comfort…

Then you’re not official.

You’re strategic.

You’re transactional.

You’re opportunistic.

You’re only meticulously seeking out people who are beneficial to your agenda.

And the moment they stop producing for you…

You disappear.

The moment they need what you’ve been receiving…

You’re suddenly unavailable.

The moment accountability enters the room…

You exit.

That’s not loyalty.

That’s exploitation.

Being official also means accepting responsibility.

It means owning your mistakes.

It means saying, “I was wrong.”

It means being accountable even when no one is watching.

It means showing up when it’s inconvenient.

It means loving people when they have nothing left to offer you.

That’s what makes someone tried and true.

Consistent.

Dependable.

Solid.

The Bible gives us several examples of people who pursued relationships only for what they could gain.

Judas Iscariot walked beside Jesus, witnessed miracles, broke bread with Him, and heard His teachings firsthand. Yet when money became more beneficial than the Master, Judas sold Jesus for thirty pieces of silver (Matthew 26:14–16). He wasn’t committed to Christ—he was committed to what Christ could do for him. When his agenda outweighed his allegiance, betrayal followed. In the end, Judas lost both the money and his peace.

Consider Absalom in 2 Samuel 15. He stood at the city gate, flattering people, stealing their hearts, and pretending to care about their concerns—not to serve them, but to build support for himself. His relationships were driven by ambition rather than integrity. He wanted influence more than responsibility, and his pursuit of power ultimately led to his destruction.

Then there’s King Saul. While David’s victories benefited Saul’s kingdom, he welcomed him. But once David’s success threatened Saul’s position, jealousy replaced appreciation. Saul no longer valued David’s faithfulness—only what David represented to his own agenda. Self-interest blinded him, and it cost him his kingdom, his peace, and eventually his life.

Now look at the opposite.

Look at Jonathan.

Jonathan had every earthly reason to protect his own future as Saul’s son. Instead, he chose covenant over convenience. He protected David, encouraged him, defended him, and never viewed David’s calling as competition. Jonathan was official because he understood that loyalty isn’t about personal benefit—it’s about honoring what God has joined together.

That’s the difference.

One relationship asks,

“What can I get from you?”

The other asks,

“How can I help you become everything God created you to be?”

One consumes.

The other contributes.

One manipulates.

The other ministers.

One keeps score.

The other keeps showing up.

💌 Grandma’s Corner

People may remember what you gave them.

But they’ll never forget why you gave it.

If your kindness only exists when there’s something in it for you…

It isn’t kindness.

If your loyalty disappears when the benefits stop…

It isn’t loyalty.

If your love has conditions…

It isn’t love.

So ask yourself today…

Have you really been official…

Or have you only been beneficial?

Because people who are truly official don’t just take from the table…

They help prepare it.

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“One thing I stand firmly on is , ‘I’ve Been Official.’

Not only can I stand on that. It’s verifiable. I’m consistently the same. I want everyone to win! I will help you win! I will show up no questions asked. I want everyone to be blessed and receive what God has for them.

There are so many cases where behind the scenes it’s me being used by God to help others.” - Alston Shropshire