Some storms in life have the appearance of being life long. If you take a look at the picture you are looking at "white sheep", however somewhere off in the background or the midst there is the "black sheep". The "black sheep is what we will be talking about today. Countless people are walking around feeling as if they are the "black sheep" of the family. This is something that gets talked about amongst others but rarely the family itself. Why is the question, I often wonder? These are conversations that I have had with so many others, from so many ethnic backgrounds and cultures. Again, my question is why? They are all "sheep" aren't they? In this case, we are talking about family. Yes, we all have family members that have not followed the same course as others, they may have done their thing their way or may not have had the same desires as the others. Does that make them less worthy of being family? Does this qualify them to have more of a blemish than the "white sheep"? Not everyone will be born with the same intellect, gifts, or qualities; they are uniquely and marvelously made (as we all are since we all were created by God). We all have shortcomings, the "white" and the "black" sheep. What makes one shortcoming for qualified for " blackness" than the other? Is it the person who says it? What makes them qualified to say so? If it were them or their children would they want to be outcast, feel less than, or have their flaws pointed out? Who's actually to say that when the" white sheep" of your family is put next to another "white sheep" they don't appear to be "black"? How is the feeling for them then? Sometimes you are trying to wash away the "blackness" all of your life that you have no initial control over. In the instances where you do have control, there is no need to beat yourself up because someone has pointed out all of your blemishes, just because they don't want the attention on theirs. Most often people have labeled others with flaws due to the expectations of others or society and not necessarily their own beliefs. For a quick example, you have family members judging the drug-addicted aunt or uncle until it's their child or grandchild, then they have so much compassion. " You know they lived a rough life, I should have just taken him/her in with me and then they wouldn't be like that, their mother/father don't know how to raise no child". My point here is, you can shun your brother or sister, blame someone else for your grandchild for being on drugs and improperly raised, but not look to your parents??? No one ever wants to get to the root of the problem of why they are doing drugs in the first place. What happened in their life to make them want to escape? Were they molested, raped, abandoned as a child, or mistreated? Was this their every day normal, is this what they grew up seeing, and if so, why? What happened to the people around them who taught or showed them this?
You have other instances where you are treated differently because of who your parents are or aren't. You have situations in families where your aunt doesn't like you because she never liked your mother and didn't have any intentions of liking or bonding with you as her title suggests. Yes, this is actually happening in families! You have uncles not liking the children because he didn't like your father or he didn't approve of your mother. These things will be passed down in the family and now the children ( the cousins) do not like one another for what issues the parents have or the grandparents. "Generational curses". Now the family structure is broken and you are living with issues of feeling like the "black sheep" because of your struggles known or unknown; because of who you are.
There are children with issues with a grandparent because of the way their parents were treated; because their parents were the black sheep. Carrying a load of issues that were not meant to be carried by them. Let's get real today! My question is why would a parent mistreat their child? What is the disconnect or deep-rooted issue? Let's talk about it!
The "black sheep" because you were raised with one side of your family and not the other because the relationship or marriage didn't last. Now the bond is broken because the family doesn't communicate with the child because they are caught up in the mess of the adults. Even if they weren't in the mess of it all, why not be there for the child; make your presence known? Yes, this happens, but it is never discussed! No one wants to admit that they are apart of the madness of separation, judgment, labeling, the absence, dysfunction, "the white sheep syndrome" or "THE PROBLEM".
Let's see how you answer these:
Do you acknowledge all of your family members without judgment?
Do you communicate with your family most of the year( fb, Ig, text, phone call, visit, or send a message through someone else)?
Are you holding a grudge against someone that is more than 30 days old?
Are you upset with someone in your family because of someone else?
The standards that you have for yourself and your children the same as you set for others?
Do you secretly hold resentment towards someone in your family and they not know why?
Are you upset with someone in your family to the point you would not attend their funeral?
Are you upset with someone and would be at their funeral crying and possibly falling out ( this does happen)? Would you regret the issues you have with them once you are in front of the casket?
Are you walking around upset with your family and not know why?
Are you secretly upset with your family, yet on social media acting as if everything is all good?
Have you asked the question to other family members of how they feel about you? You may be surprised!
Are you upset with your parents for something from the past and haven't let go of it?
Have you been the best parent, child, cousin, aunt, uncle, sibling to your family?
Are you the "white sheep or the black sheep of the family? If you don't say black that means you are the white sheep, let's be clear, and let's be honest!
Finally, Jesus can wash you white as snow! To all of my black sheep, you are the head and not the tail. You are more than enough. No sin is greater than the other! No one can judge you but God! Not even family can define who you are and who you will become. Remember the wolf ( the devil) attacks both the white and the black sheep, don't be fooled!
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
As it is written:
“There is no one righteous, not even one;