In the role of step-parent, you can step up or spiral down. The choice is up to you. What role you would like to play in a child's life. Being a step-parent comes with many challenges, the biggest one is trust. Trust on both sides. Both parties are in a vulnerable position of wanting to be accepted. Both play a major role in the mother's or father's life. No matter how major the role is, this is still that person's child. Any good and responsible parent loves their child unconditionally. This goes for adult children as well. You do not stop being a mother or father just because your child has become an adult. Even when you have passed on you will always be that child's mother/ father. With that being clarified, let's look into the different types of step-parents they are out there, and let's see where you fit in. Have you stepped up or have you fell short? Are you childish or responsible? Or you of good moral standing or selfish in your needs? Are concerned with the well-being of your family, which includes your stepchild (ren)?
Good Step-Parent-
Generally cares for the well being of the child(ren) whether under the age of 21 or well over the age of 21.
Gets involved with the life of the child(ren) whether under the age of 21 or well over the age of 21.
Have consistent conversations with them.
Have a love for them as if they are their own.
Have respect for them.
Wants them to participate in family activities.
Has them apart of their family. ( The family in which they are born)
Guides them in the right direction
Assist in teaching them good qualities that will help them be successful in life.
Have bonding moments with them.
Tells them that they are loved by them
Makes them feel loved, wanted, and show them as well.
Is not abusive ( mentally, physically, or emotionally)
etc... The list can go on in a positive way
Bad Step-Parent-
Does not generally cares for the well-being of the child(ren) whether under the age of 21 or well over the age of 21.
Does not gets involved with the life of the child(ren) whether under the age of 21 or well over the age of 21.
Has no conversations with them.
Has no love for them as if they are their own, show a disliking
Has no respect for them.
Does not want them to participate in family activities.
Does not have them as apart of their family. (The family in which they are born)
Does not guide them in the right direction... does not guiding at all
Does not assist in teaching them good qualities that will help them be successful in life.
Does not have bonding moments with them.
Never tells them that they are loved by them
Never makes them feel loved, wanted, and show them as well.
Is abusive ( mentally, physically, or emotionally)
etc... The list can go on in a positive way
So, my question is today where do you fit in? What type of impact are you making in a child's life? What are your intentions with the child? How can you love a mother and not the child? How would you feel if this were you? Growing up in a home where your parent's partner does not love, want, or accepts you? Are you creating a loving environment? Are you giving a child everything you ever wanted and did not get?
Children are innocent whether adults or not. They had no participation in the union of both of you, yet they are in this union indirectly? They just want to be loved and accepted just as you love and accept their parent.
